By Edward I.O. Sakwe, RN, BSN

“Is the world still out there?” is a question asked on May 12, 2020 by Mrs. Hugo, a 98 year old resident when the nurse went into her room to administer her morning meds.

If you’re in your 50s or younger, such a question may sound funny and far-fetched to you, but for our elderly citizens especially those age 80 and beyond, as well as those living beyond their “used by date” as described by another resident, such question is normal to them. They often feel forgotten, or abandoned by the world or their family members, they feel at times like they are a burden to the society because they do not have anything left to offer the world.

Our elderly parents on most days of the week go to bed at night feeling like nobody knows or care if they exist, they feel like life is not worth living anymore. Some of them could not remember the last time their phone rang, and it was a friend or family member calling just to check on them to see how they’re doing, and to ask if they need anything, or if they can come over to visit with them.

As a healthcare worker, you experience firsthand how lonely life could be especially for our seniors, some will tell you “I have no family”, or “I don’t want to border them”, “they have their own things to worry about”. The truth is, our parents should never at any point in their life consider themselves a burden to us, or a menace to society, they brought us into this world, they raised us even in the toughest of times. They stayed awake most nights watching us sleep and wondering what tomorrow will be like, what we going to eat, or wear, or how we’re going to get to school, or worry about the prognosis of the diagnosis the doctor just gave, or how to get us on the list because our kidneys or liver, or heart is failing.

They are our heroes, the least we can do for them is to make time for them, they understand better than anyone else how busy life is for us, juggling between your spouse, your kids, your job, or the home renovation project we are working on. They are not asking for much from us, all they’re asking is for the healthy5 minutes of our time each day or every week. Just call and say “hi mom, this is Nanje, I’m just calling to check on you, to see how you’re doing, ask them what they’ve done that day or what they got planned for the day, ask about their nutrition, are they eating well. When was the last time the doctor saw them, are they hurting, are they still able to perform their usual day to day activities, are they needing more help getting dressed, is there something they need that you can get for them?”. Tell them you Love them. They need to know that the world still exists, and that there is still someone out there who knows they exist, and still care about them. It puts a smile on their face and gives them a sense of belonging when they go to bed at night and when they wake up in the morning. It enhances their feeling of a purpose to keep on living.

As children and grandchildren, we should never be too busy to a point where we forget about our parents or grandparents and their wellbeing, because they will never forget about us. As a matter of fact, we are all they have, we are all they think about, and we are the only thing that matters most to them.

Today, when you’re done reading this message, please take the healthy5 minutes of your time to reach out to your mom, or dad, or grandparent, or an aunt, a neighbor, someone you haven’t talked to for a while. Tell them you just thought about them today, that you know it’s been a while since you checked on them, that’s why you’re calling to make sure they’re doing well. Ask when will be a good time for you to come by and visit them, and do not make distance, or work or other commitments be an obstacle to the visit. If you make it a new habit to use 5 minutes of your time each day to check on an elderly relative or friend, you won’t only be putting a smile on their faces, but you will also be putting a smile on your face as well, because as you already know, smiles are contagious, and when you smile, your brain releases tiny molecules called neuropeptides to help fight off stress. It also triggers the production of other neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin and endorphins which serves as a mild pain reliever, and as an antidepressant. Make it an effort to put a smile on 5 faces today by calling and checking on someone, make them feel that they still belong to this world and that many people including you still love and care about them.